


Some Stars Have Scars

by FanFicAddict7



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:47:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicAddict7/pseuds/FanFicAddict7
Summary: Sirius was beautiful beyond compare, but he was also broken and put back together, and the physical and emotional scars told the story he would never speak again.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 146





	Some Stars Have Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This work features heavy and potentially triggering topics and should be read with caution and the tags heeded

Things had never been easy for Sirius with his parents. His personality didn’t lend him to behaving the way Walburga and Orion saw appropriate for the eldest pureblood son of The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. He had always been a loud, opinionated, headstrong boy. He spoke too soon, thought too late, and always had an argument. And telling him he shouldn’t do something? Well, you might as well be daring Sirius Black to do it. 

The tension between him and his parents only seemed to get worse as he got older. The first time his parents laid hands on him, he was 9 years old. His parents were planning a family gathering, to celebrate some cousin being betrothed. 

“But why do I have to be there? I don’t even like them?” 

The perceived insolence had lead Sirius to being backhanded by his mother. It was quick and left his first bruise. Her ring cut his cheek. His face turned to stone. Even at 9, he knew he wouldn’t let her win by crying. He didn’t do anything wrong. A month later, it was clear, that first mark was also his first scar.

His eleventh birthday was the first time his mother used magic to punish Sirius. His rude gesture towards Bella was repaid with a stinging hex from the matriarch. Once again, the stone expression returned.

By the time Sirius Black was sorted as a Gryffindor, his body and mind had been marked with the story of his relationship with his mother. But he never spoke of the scars, the nightmares. But that story told itself in other, louder ways than words. 

At first, James Potter, the only child who’d been doted on and spoiled in love, couldn’t understand why this bright excited kid flinched when hugged. Peter Pettigrew asked too many questions about where all the scars came from. Remus just looked at the marks with silent understanding. Not of his situation but of the hurt behind the marks.

Soon, they had a vague understanding. They all saw the darkness that crept in after a letter from home. The words didn’t flow forth from Sirius, the bouncy energy evaporated. Sirius came back for second year with even more scars. 

Finally, he told his friends what happened at home. The 13-year-old woke up screaming, sobbing so hard he couldn’t breath. Remus was the first one to react. The younger boy ran across the dorm, positioning himself directly in Sirius’ line of sight.

“Sirius, you’re awake, you’re safe, you’re at Hogwarts. You aren’t there.” He repeated this, like a mantra. It didn’t seem to work at first, so Remus simply put his palms flat, one on Sirius’ chest, the other on his back, with just enough pressure to ground him. Sirius finally started to come back from his panic attack. 

“If you want, you can tell me what happened.” Remus spoke in a soft, calm voice. Just loud enough for Sirius to hear. And that’s how three twelve-year-olds found out that their friend’s discipline at home was an unforgivable curse. That the scars he came back with were from landing on a broken plate when his mother used the cruciatus curse. None of them knew how to respond to that. 

Every year, Sirius had more scars, more nightmares, more darkness. 

Remus was there for one set of scars. And it was a moment that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He’d gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and found Sirius sobbing in a shower stall. Suddenly, Remus was wide awake. They never talked about it after, but Remus did keep a closer eye on Sirius. Sirius never tried again, but Remus noticed the accumulation of more scars, new types of scars, scars he knew too well.

But the worst of the scars came the summer between 5th and 6th years. 

Sirius showed up at the Potter doorstep, bloodied and bruised, tear tracks blazing trails through the grime on his face. His shirt was ripped across the front, a gnarly gash crossing from hip to opposite shoulder. 

Euphemia took the boy inside, cleaned him up. They never really knew the story of what had happened, but he never went home again. Remus cried, but never when Sirius was around. He had become a rock for his boyfriend. Sirius never cried again. His scars were show enough of the horrors he endured and refused to give them any more credence. 

Sirius was beautiful beyond compare, but he was also broken and put back together, and the physical and emotional scars told the story he would never speak again.


End file.
